Posted by: loripalooza | December 16, 2009

Apple Pie, My Eye!

I just took an on-line quiz to see what type of holiday pie I am and am now sitting here frowning, brows hunkered low over my eyes, my mouth bunched together to one side in disappointment.  Turns out I’m an Old-Fashioned Apple Pie – yawn, yawn, yawn! Not even with cheddar cheese on it or anything!  I think I’m really more likely some type of tart…Or perhaps a Mock Apple Pie.

In my search for a handy picture to borrow, Google turned up 3,110,000 images for apple pie.  I got a little side-tracked by looking at the recipe for Apple Bacon Pie, (insert a yum or a yuck here, depending on your carnivorous leanings) and then stopped my quest after the second page where there was a PhotoShopped version of a head made of apple pie, because it was freaking me out – I just couldn’t look away – apparently as it was meant to, since the website was called Freakin News.

I know, I should be doing Christmas stuff, like productive ole Hannah down there, but there’s not really that much to do right now.  Our Christmas cards are not ready to print yet, so all that has to wait.  I was going to mail the one package I need to send to my niece in Korea, but have to wait for those cards, and well, get her another gift, because we did have this cool necklace for her with these amber colored beads on a black-wrapped cord all ready to be wrapped and I made the mistake of trying it on and looking in the mirror.  I realized then that it was really meant for me and no one else.  One more notch on my irresponsible pole of self-perceived badness.

My mom’s birthday was a couple days ago, so like thinking up gift-ideas for your mom for Christmas isn’t bad enough, I’ve got birthday gift pressure in December, as well!  We drove up through the snow (massive karma points) to surprise her at home, only to find no one home but my gimpy brother-in-law in front of the TV with a basket of painkillers who just had knee surgery and is recovering at my folks’ house (long story here on the-strange-and-funky-living-arrangements-of-my sister-and-her-husband, but I will spare you and you can be thankful), but it was good to visit him and I’ve been astounded the last couple of days by the knowledge that he now has 28 pounds of steel in his knee!  Twenty-eight pounds?!? He’s a very large man, but still ¬– that’s like dragging a kindergartener around on your knee! Forever!  I suppose he’ll be walking like Herman Munster from now on.  But, okay, sidetracked once again. Turns out what my mom wanted for her birthday was to get out of the house, take a break from being nurse-mom (in-law) and escape to the local tribal casino.  So, we hopped in the car, and drove back the way we’d come and really surprised her by finding her in the casino. Nice visit, rich lunch (crab cake BLT, oh my!) and more snow.  The topper of the afternoon though, was when my dad showed us their new car – a Buick man from way back – and he proudly displayed the arm rest in the front seat he customized with an old striped seat cushion from a lawn chair and a bungy cord for their little Shih-Tzu dog, Peaches, so she wouldn’t slide around on rides. Then he popped open the trunk, we thought to show us how clean and roomy it is, but he leaned over to a little flat compartmentalized box neatly holding his pipe and assorted pipe paraphernalia for a little alone time after we scampered through the snow to our car.

Anyway, apple pie. Sheesh!


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