I have this one brother-in-law (ha! fun typo you didn’t see there-“bother-in-law”–could be a whole new category of in-law) who always sidles casually up and asks “So, what’s new?” whenever I see him. Now, I know he means well, but I always feel put on the spot, like I’m supposed to come up with something interesting, intriguing, some wonderful news, an entertaining anecdote. So that when I non-chalantly say “Oh, not much” I see his shoulders drop in disappointment, a commiserating look moists his eyes and a sigh of “That’s too bad” weakly expels between his lips. And then he moves on to someone more interesting.
On the other hand, a (young, handsome and hip) friend at work routinely asks as he swings through the door “Hey Lori. Whassup?” And, okay, it’s the younger generation’s lingo, and only they can really get away with it, which he legitimately does, but I can’t help feeling slightly cross because it’s just a very immediate way of asking “What’s new?” so that again, I feel put on the spot, and want to snap at him “What does it look like is up? (awkward that; see, how are you supposed to reply?!) It’s obvious I’m (fill in with: proofing a report, standing mostly deaf at the chugging copier, ordering paperandtonerpaperandtonerpaperandtoner).” What I really do is nod silently and smile, which might be what you’re supposed to do, because I have a feeling it’s kind of a rhetorical question; he’s not really expecting an answer.
And if I did honestly and literally answer what was new, would they be interested in hearing about my two antique/funk shop purchases? The first being Marilyn Monroe shoulder-length golden gloves I had to have thinking of our impending Seventies-themed Halloween party
(only two months to go!!!)
the inspiration for the Golden Goddess of Glam that will be me? Or the other purchase-not-to-be-denied, an art deco-like camel lamp that goes amazing well in our house? (The story of the great Fourth of July palm tree transfer caper actually did make it into several conversations, because it is truly interesting, and the tree is helping us to achieve our latest Moving the Funk Outside the House trend.)
Other new items include a beer fridge for the basement (a Joe-dream come true), and just last night a revolving disco ball for above mentioned party to be. Of course we had to set it up and check it out right away,and trippy amusement was had by man and beast (our two cats Dharma and Patchouli). I can see we’re going to have to add New Year’s Eve to our ever-expanding party base.
In the non-physical ‘new’ realm, such as a surprising and visually delightful bit of news from a friend that I only learned of days ago (when the subject of juggling came up because I was placing Joe’s glowing juggling balls on our very dangerous iron dragon sculpture, Tetanus, so people wouldn’t be skewered in the dark during our Outdoor Movie Night), but which my grinning relentless mind keeps returning to, is that our friend was in a circus as a child! A French circus! (He happens to be French, but still!) Where he juggled and walked on his hands and other circussy things, as–and here’s the best part–a SMURF!!! Add to that the pleasure of hearing him say the word with his sexy accent “smehhhrf.” I made him repeat it several times.
So. That’s what’s new with me. Whassup with you?