So, I’m sitting here at my desk at work eating my lunch, checking the Whidbey News Times, my home town of Oak Harbor’s local periodical, for obituaries of all things, due to a call from my mom last night. The obituary wasn’t published yet, but zipping around the site as various headlines caught my eye, as one is apt to do on the Internet, there was the blandly tabbed Police Report. I couldn’t resist the temptation to see what kind of crimes have been reported lately back on the home-front. Would there be anyone I knew? Are my parents and family safe up there? It was about what one would expect of a relatively small town, I suppose, with a couple of possibly serious items, but I have to share with you a few of my favorites:
The following items were selected from reports made to the Oak Harbor Police Department:
Monday, Oct. 6
At 12:35 p.m., a caller reported that someone left an old suitcase on SE Bayshore Drive.
At 8:35 p.m., there was a report of people having a party, drinking, vomiting and driving away on SE Eighth Avenue.
Sunday, Oct. 5
At 12:06 p.m., a man at a Highway 20 store reported that a woman stole prescription medicine from his pocket. The man described the woman as “freaky looking like all the women in the town.”
At 8:22 a.m., a SE Glencoe Street resident reported that someone left a dead shark on her front porch.
Some things, you just can’t make up…